


Somewhere Only We Know

by Plutorabbit



Category: Big Bang (Band), K-pop
Genre: Adolescence, Adultery, Affairs, F/M, Friendship, Gen, Growing Up, K-pop References, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-22
Updated: 2016-07-22
Packaged: 2018-07-25 23:41:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,671
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7551697
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Plutorabbit/pseuds/Plutorabbit
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Meetings and partings<br/>Repeat and repeat<br/>I'm tired, so let's go<br/>Somewhere only we know.</p><p> <br/>(A revised version of one of the very first stories I'd written. )</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

"Oppa, I've safely arrived. Are you here?"

  
"Haerin! I don't see you! Where are you?!"

  
I scanned across the arrival hall for a familiar face. By a pillar just a meter away stood a blondie in an oversized graphic T-shirt and black skinny jeans. We met eyes and instinctively dropped the phone from our ears.

  
"Jiyong?"

  
"HAERIN!!!" he exclaimed, throwing himself on me.

  
I laughed, half groaning as I returned the hug.

  
"Sorry, Haerin," he laughed sheepishly, "I got too excited. It's been so long, dongsaeng!"

  
Still, he insisted on calling me his dongsaeng despite the mere difference of a month between us. It was as if nothing had changed.

 

:::

 

_"Haerin, your birthday's in September. Mine's in August. Call me Oppa!" he proudly demanded after chancing upon my student ID. I got on tiptoes and snatched the card out of his hand, retorting with dissatisfaction, "Why?!"_

  
_"I don't even call Seunghyun 'oppa'."_

 

:::

 

**Seunghyun...**

  
"Jiyong, are you still living on that same street? " I quickly asked upon realizing that I could be taking a brisk walk back down memory lane, and that wasn't exactly on the top of my to-do list coming back to Korea. My heart sank a little as he answered with pure excitement, "Of course! We never moved, Haerin."

  
He took the luggage out of my hand and led the way to the taxi stand.

  
"We?" I repeated after him.

  
"Haerin... You can't possibly have forgotten the guys. Taeyang, Daesung, Seungri, and Seunghyun."

  
I felt my heart skip a beat at that last name, but with that came a twist in the pit of my stomach.

  
"Of course I remember! How could I have forgotten, silly!" I shook it off with a laugh. Jiyong gave me a playful nudge in the arm and I returned his cheerfulness with a small smile, but I felt that smile stiffen and fade as soon as he looked the other way and the twisting in my stomach continued.

  
Memories always had that effect on me.

 

:::

 

_"What did you call Jiyong a while ago?” Seunghyun spoke after everyone had went separate ways, leaving the two of us alone on that street back to our homes. He had been quiet the entire walk until now, and I knew best from our years of friendship that it was always best to wait it out. It never took him very long to spill his thoughts through stutters and hums, but it wasn't often that his words escaped with conviction._

  
_"What did I call Jiyong?" I returned his question, confused by the sudden outburst after his unexplained silence. He stopped abruptly in his tracks, so I did as well._

  
_"You called him silly." He muttered, his eyes fixated on the ground._

  
_"And?" I squeaked._

_  
Seunghyun heaved a deep sigh, half in exasperation at how dense I was, and half in what seemed like complete disappointment. Mumbling_ _something under his breathe, he took off, not looking me in the eye._

  
_"What?" I probed as I tried to keep up with his big steps, "What is it?"_

  
_"I said, you always call me silly!"_

  
_It was then that I finally understood, and an unknowing smile found its way to the corner of my lips._

  
_"It was just a slip, Seunghyun." I beamed, "I guess i've been hanging around you so much that I can't get it off my tongue now. It's like you're always there with me."_

  
_I watched expectantly for the ease in his brows as the layer of steel he wore on his face softened into just a hint of pride. I knew that look of his. The look that told me he'd calmed down; the look that show he'd liked what I'd said. That one look made me feel confident that even if the world turned it's back on me, I'd always be able to talk him into staying by my side._

 

:::

 

The cab ride back to Jiyong's place was slow. I found myself fidgeting with the strap of my bag while Jiyong rambled on about how proud the guys would be to see me all grown up and ladylike.

  
I'd never noticed before, but the trees never seemed to grow ever since I was a child. They never got taller, and their branches never stretched outwards. Moss had found its way between the cracks of the bricks walls, the tire marks imprinted on the gravel roads have extended across its entire width, and the wooden benches on the streets were a much darker shade than I remembered. Time had flaunted its effect on every corner of this town, but I guess it left out a few parts.

  
"You've grown prettier, Haerin..." Jiyong pointed out bashfully,"I always knew you'd grow up to be a doll, but I never thought it'd be this big of a change."

  
_Change?_ I tilted the screen of my phone that I'd been holding onto for dear life, just enough to sneak a peek at myself in the reflection. I'd never thought of myself as changed. On the contrary, in these 6 years, I’d always thought I was stuck. Everyone around me was zooming ahead while I stood still, unable- No...Unwilling to budge because of certain promises I’d made.

 

:::

 

_"Rin, why is the world moving so fast?" Seunghyun asked like a flustered child._

  
_"I don't know, Seunghyun. That's just the way it is." I shrugged and pulled my knees up to my chest. The sky was pitch black from his backyard and like every other Saturday night, we were determined to stay awake until sunrise._

  
_"What do you mean you don't know, Rin?" he grumbled in frustration, "You always have an answer for everything."_

  
_"Not for this one."_

  
_After a moment of silence, Seunghyun muttered in a pensive tone, "I'm sorry, Rin."_

  
_I looked up at him, but he had his eyes fixed on the sky._

  
_"What for?"_

  
_He looked to the grass under his slippers and took a deep breath._

  
_"I'm not capable enough. I'm too afraid of the world to protect you."_

  
_I smiled inwardly, amused at how sincerely upset he looked with himself over a silly discussion he'd pulled out of nowhere._

  
_"It's alright, Seunghyun. I'll protect you instead." I reassured, "And no matter how fast the world spins, I promise I'll never change."_

  
_"Really?" he looked to me with eyes full of hope._

  
_"Definitely." I patted his head._

 

:::

 

"Jiyong," I started, "Is everyone... Still the same?"

  
Beating around the bush was never my preferred way of getting answers, but I pondered over and over in our hour long drive back to his place if I even knew what I was hoping to hear. The words came out wrong but Jiyong was never one who needed probing anyways.

  
"Well, we've all grown a lot in size, that's for sure." He joked, "Daesung and Seungri are in their final year of Uni. Taeyang's got himself a good foot in the music scene. I go around performing with him at clubs sometimes, just to keep ourselves occupied while we figure life out, y'know?"

  
Then it eventually came to the name I adored.

  
"Seunghyun... He's a part time student, full time bum. " Jiyong chuckled and I couldn't help but laugh along.

  
"Is he... Better now?" I asked cautiously. Jiyong kept silent for a moment, smile wiped off his face. I held my breath as I waited for his answer.

  
"He's..." Jiyong paused, as if having trouble finding the right explanation.

  
"He's?" I urged.

  
The blond haired boy leaned his head back in a chuckle.

  
"You're still like this when it comes to Seunghyun. Always on edge."

  
I ignored that statement and pressed, "So how is he?"

  
He leaned back further in the driver's seat and cocked his head.

  
"He's good. You wouldn't be able to tell he ever had a problem."

 

  
Seunghyun was never good with people. He may have been two years older than me, but I’d always thought of him as a child I had to look out for; someone I had to show more patience and shower more love on just because I was, at that time, the only person he was truly comfortable with. To the rest of the world, he was the loner in the corner whose quiet stares sent chills down their spines. But he’d placed his trust in me, for reasons I still didn’t know, and I never wanted to fail him.

  
A part of me felt relief knowing he’d overcome that barrier and finally found himself a spot outside of his reclusive shell. Yet at the same time, I couldn’t ignore the huge sense of disappointment in myself for not having been a part of that growth. I wondered if such feelings were natural because I’d thought of him as my responsibility. 

  
But I guess that wasn't it.

 

:::

 

_I was in class taking notes when the vibration of my phone broke my concentration. I took a peep under the table and smiled at the word lit up on my screen, 'Seunghyun pabo ^^;'._

  
_'Turtle.' was the only word the text message contained._

  
_I raised a brow, shoving my phone deep into my pocket and bringing my focus back onto the contents on the blackboard. A few seconds later, I got another text._

  
_'Bunny!'_

  
_I rolled my eyes, biting on the insides of my cheek to contain my smile._

  
_And then came another._

  
_'What do they have in common?'_

  
_I rested my phone on my lap, keeping it out of the teacher's view as I pondered over his little riddle. A minute later, a final text came._

 

  
_"Seunghyun!" I called out across the empty corridor as soon as I turned the corner._

  
_"Come on, yo, let's skip~" I read his text out loud, mimicking the tone of voice I’d imagined he would use._

  
_He let out a chuckle and took me by the wrist, leading me gently up to the rooftop._

_  
"So what do turtles and bunnies have in common?" I asked as we arrived before the panoramic view of our school field. The wind from seven stories high never failed to wash away every trace of stress, even if it was all temporary._

  
_"They're both really cute." he shrugged, "Like me."_

  
_I scoffed and gave him a look of disbelief, in which he shrugged off with a smug look on his face._

  
_They were really quiet too, just like Seunghyun. When he wasn’t around me, at least._

 

:::

 

I snapped out of my train of thoughts when I noticed Jiyong make a left turn, straight through the neighbourhood that had played a massive role in the person that I was. Every little corner brought back memories. Happy ones; sad ones; a few that I'd rather forget, and a whole bunch I promised never to forget. That promise, I’d kept.

  
It didn't take me long to realize that I was alone on that one.

 

  
As soon as Jiyong pulled up by the kerb outside his place, I got out of the car and let the sight before me sink in. The air in Seoul felt different from the air in America. Standing in that neighbourhood and taking a deep breath felt like I was taken right back to when I was a child, and that was a whole new experience for me.

  
"Oh, did I mention it before, Haerin?” Jiyong spoke as he lifted my luggage out of the trunk, “Seunghyun and the guys are living with me. You don't mind, do you?"

  
I shook my head,

  
**“Of course not.”**

  
  
_Of course not._

 


	2. Chapter 2

_"Haerin!!!" a voice called out from across the class, "We're going shopping. You should come along!"_

_  
I hummed hesitantly as I looked over at Seunghyun who stood stiffly outside my classroom, waiting with his head hung low._

_  
"I'll pass,” I rejected politely, “You girls have fun!”_

_  
"But Haerin! It's been so long since you went out with us! And it's Friday!"_

_  
"Sorry… I’ll join you next time!” I gave them an apologetic smile and scooted past them towards the lonely figure by the door._

_  
"Yo!" I greeted with a punch on his arm. The boy winced and held his hand over that spot, pressing hip lips to hide his smile as he turned to hide from another possible attack._

_  
"Oh my god, he's so cute!" a girl squealed to her friend as they passed, turning his smile around instantly._

_  
"Let's go." He mumbled, walking ahead with his eyes lowered. I noticed his discomfort immediately and skipped to catch up to him._

_  
Hey! You ok?"_

_  
"I really don't like the way they look at me.” he lamented firmly, “It feels weird."_

_  
"Why? You're popular among the girls~" I nudged him playfully._

_  
" I don't want to be."_

  
His brows knitted to a frown and he kept his eyes fixed to the ground in front of him, avoiding all eye contact with everyone we passed.

_  
"Why not?" I shot, genuinely curious," Aren't guys all flattered when they get girls' attention?"_

_  
He remained silent, quickening his pace. Then he mumbled as if only for himself to hear_

_  
"But I only want yours."_

_  
No matter how hard I tried, I just couldn't stop smiling to myself afterwards._

 

:::

 

Jiyong forgetting his keys was no surprise to me. But then again, being the usual lucky chap that he was, someone was home to get the door.

"Eyyy Top! Look who's back!" Jiyong literally screamed the moment the door swung open, and there stood the boy I’d been longing to see. His tall figure towered over me; his fox-like eyes and chiselled jawline more distinct than ever after the drastic loss of weight. His lips were agape for a moment, a clear sign of shock, but that expression was quickly replaced by a side I’d never seen, nor imagined.

  
"Haerin!" he greeted with a chuckle, approaching me with open arms. Before I could react, he’d pressed me up against his chest.

  
It wasn’t the kind of hug between longtime friends, neither did it feel like the warm embrace of family. I was being wrapped in his arms and still it felt like there were seven oceans between us. I could have been in a club back in the states, being pulled into the arms of numerous strangers and still I would have felt more comforted.

  
“Hurry up inside, Haerin.” he cooed, leading me in with his arm over my shoulders. I bit on the insides of my cheeks and walked ahead to get away from his reach.

  
The effect of 7 years apart was being shoved in my face. The unfamiliarity in that endearment was perfectly understandable, yet I couldn’t hide or deny my disappointment. I was naive to have thought for a moment that I could reappear after a significant amount of time passed and continue right from where we’d left off.

  
"You're a lady now. Quite unbelievable. I like it, though." the stranger before me commented.

  
Me, a lady? I’d heard it from Jiyong just a while before, but the effect wasn't quite the same.

  
I replied with a simple thank you, and looked away. 

  
"Thank you? Just thank you?" he implored, "How about adding 'oppa' to it?"

  
The tease in his voice caught me off guard, and I wondered if my eyes gave my thoughts away. A part of me wish it did. Then perhaps the Seunghyun I knew would appear suddenly and tell me I’d been fooled, fall to his knees laughing at my reaction; Or perhaps point me to a camera and replay my priceless expression a million times over to the others, mocking me.

  
But none of that happened.

  
I’d never been as grateful to Jiyong as I was at the moment he’d interrupted, insisting on showing me to my room. I gladly followed, not looking back at the stranger whose eyes still followed wherever I paced.

  
"You'll like your room, Haerin. I took some time preparing it." Seunghyun declared, tagging along behind as we strolled up the stairs.

 

_:::_

 

_"Rin, I'm hungry." Seunghyun whined as soon as I exited the classroom._

_  
Like always, he had been quietly standing in the corridor while I packed up after class and said my goodbyes. Some days, like this one, I took my time and engaged in unnecessary chit chat with classmates I wouldn’t even call friends just to prolong the enjoyment I got out of having someone wait for me. The fact that Seunghyun was a senior drew attention, and it made me feel even better about myself._

_  
"Alright! Let's go get something to eat!" I chirped._

_  
We were about to head off when Jonghyun from the next class cut between us, his back turned to Seunghyun._

_  
"Hey Haerin, do you mind helping me with this?" he requested, holding up his physics assessments to me._

_  
Before I could respond, Seunghyun had strode off down the corridor without a word, like a mimosa's quick withdrawal upon being touched._

_  
It wasn’t long before I was done helping Jonghyun out. All his queries boiled down to one equation he’d forgot to apply, and I’d figured it out and explained it to him all in 20 minutes. I called Seunghyun on his cellphone, worried by his behaviour earlier._

_  
“Hello?” Seunghyun answered, his voice low and lifeless._

_  
"Seunghyun! Where are you? I thought you said you were hungry! Why didn't you wait for me?" I questioned, scurrying through the school compound towards the main gate._

_  
"I haven't eaten. I'm just outside.”_

_  
I eased down to a stop as I spotted him in the distance, shoulders slump, hands in his pockets and kicking at dried leaves on the ground like a bored child. Dropping the phone from my ears, I skipped forward and punched him lightly in the arm._

_  
"Why'd you leave?" I asked._

_  
"It just didn't seem right to be there. It was a crowd. Sorry."_

_  
I blamed myself for not having noticed how out of place he must have felt having a stranger jump in like he was completely invisible.  And at that moment, I didn't realize that the hint of heartache I got from watching his lonely back view walking away was more than just my motherly instincts kicking in._

_  
"It's ok. Let's go eat. I'm starving!" I chirped brightly._

_  
That was Seunghyun. Awkward, shy, and too afraid to step out of his comfort zone. The Seunghyun that I felt obliged to protecting and caring for._

 

:::

 

"Haerin, are you hungry? We could go out for dinner tonight to celebrate your return!" Jiyong suggested. I nodded with a content smile. Jiyong hadn't changed one bit.

  
"That’s great. We could have a party. Call the others back, Ji. Gotta make Haerin feel at home."

  
Our eyes met as I looked up from my sip of water, and Seunghyun flashed me a wink. I forced a smile and let out a breath I’d been holding in.

  
At least Jiyong was still the same. That was how I’d consoled myself.

 

But why wasn't it working?


	3. Chapter 3

“Hey! That's mine!!" Seungri screeched as he helplessly watched Seunghyun eat the last slice of pizza in the box.

  
We were gathered around the coffee table in the living room, just finishing up the pizza Jiyong had ordered. Our plan to head out for a celebratory dinner was postponed because Seunghyun had noticed the slight red in my eyes and assumed the long flight back must have worn me out. I didn’t deny.

  
"Here, Seungri, you can have mine. I've already had 3 slices." I offered the youngest, who gladly took my plate with a sheepish grin. Seungri hadn’t changed much since I last saw him. In fact, all of them still felt to me like the kids they were 7 years ago. All except the one I’d missed most.

  
“Stop feeding Seungri, Haerin. I can tell you're going to spoil him with your kindness." Taeyang joked, "The next time we order pizza, he's gonna gobble it all up before it reaches the table, you won't even get a crumb."

  
Daesung laughed, poking Seungri tauntingly as the latter impassively retorted,  “Nope, I’ll save some just for Haerin noona!"

  
His childlike disposition brought a huge smile onto my face, and I couldn’t resist reaching over to pat the boy on his head.

  
And the whole time, I felt a pair of eyes on me.

 

_:::_

 

_“Hey, have you seen Choi Seunghyun?" I stopped a guy I had recognized to be from Seunghyun's class._

  
He scanned me briefly from top to toe and scoffed. 

_  
"Oh, the emo dude? He's in trouble. Probably on his way to the detention room." he shrugged, about to walk off when I grabbed his arm, stopping him in his tracks._

_  
"What do you mean? What happened?" I questioned._

_  
"Who knows? We make some harmless comments and he flares up out of the blue."_

_  
My eyes drifted down to his name tag._

_  
Yoon Doojoon. Hair gelled up; shirt untucked; branded sneakers. Seunghyun must have caused the crease in his collar._

_  
"You came from the principal's office?" I asked knowingly._

_  
"Got in trouble thanks to your little boyfriend." He spat, staring down at me, "Get him a leash, would you?"_

 

_  
The next thing I knew, I was standing in the principal's office next to panda eyed Yoon Doojoon._

_  
"Lee Haerin. Class 204 detention room. NOW."_

_  
I marched out of the room, allowing the door to swing back into Yoon Doojoon's face before he could exit after me._

_  
When i got to the detention room, Seunghyun was there too. His head was hung low and his shoulders were slumped. I stood by the door, waiting for the teacher's acknowledgement before I entered._

_  
"Haerin! What happened? What's a model student like you doing in detention?" Mrs Shin asked in surprise._

_  
"I punched some guy in the eye." I replied with a straight face. Seunghyun had shock written all over his face as I made way to the seat beside his._

_  
"I'll be right back." Mrs Shin announced and strutted out of the class hurriedly._

  
The detention room was left unsupervised. There were only a handful of students present, and two were already dozing off.

_  
"What happened?" Seunghyun asked in a hushed voice, face full of confusion._

_  
"I should be asking you that.” I snapped, “You got into a fight? Why?"_

_  
Seunghyun lowered his eyes and shook his head, refusing to tell me anything. I shifted my gaze onto his desk where a piece of foolscap paper lay neatly, the entire page filled with his shaky handwritten words._

_  
Before he could lean an arm over the page, I reached over and snatched it off his desk._

_  
' **I was wrong. I have learnt my lesson. I will learn to manage my anger and communicate with my classmates better.'**_

_  
"What is this?" I demanded to know._

_  
"I have 42 more lines to go..." he mumbled, not looking me in the eyes._

_  
I was overwhelmed with anger. The defeated look on Seunghyun's face made my heart ache and my blood boil. I stood up, crushed the piece of paper in my hands and violently tore it into a million pieces._

_  
"Lee Haerin! What are you doing?!" a rough voice exclaimed upon seeing my actions. I turned to find the principal standing by the door with Mrs Shin by his side and Yoon Donjon just behind her._

  
I stomped forward.

_  
"What the hell is this?! Does he seem easy to pick on?!"_

_  
Seunghyun tugged on my arm in distress, pleading for me to stop._

_  
"Make him do something ridiculous like this again, and I’ll have my parents make sure you lose your seat in that fancy office." I hissed before turning to Yoon Doojoon._

_  
"His name isn't Emo dude. Its Choi Seunghyun. Remember that name, because you say anything about him again, and I’m going to break your jaw."_

_  
I grabbed Seunghyun's hand and dragged him out of the class, down the corridor and straight out the gates._

_  
We walked on and on down the street until I got tired and stopped by a park bench. I turned to look at Seunghyun, who mechanically sat down, not saying one word._

_  
"What's with that look?! Why did you write those lines?! You didn't do anything wrong!" I chided, stomping my feet against the concrete ground in agitation._

_  
"I almost beat that guy up. I have anger management problems..." he muttered in a crestfallen voice, self-resentment spelled out all over his face._

_  
"AISH. YOU PABO! DON'T YOU EVER SAY THAT!!" I hollered._

_  
Seunghyun looked up at me with an inscrutable expression. His eyes were the saddest eyes I’d ever seen, and the way they glistened under the light sucked every bit of anger out of me._

_  
"How would you know I wasn't in the wrong? Do you know what happened?" he asked._

_  
I calmed down and settled myself beside him._

_  
"Look, I don't know what your classmates said, but I believe you're not the kind to get physical. They must have been real douchebags to get you that mad." I affirmed, " You don't have anger management problems, ok?”_

  
The tears in his eyes were threatening to fall with every blink.

_  
"You really think so?"_

_  
I nodded confidently._

_  
“Thank you, Rin." he croaked._

_  
We sat there in silence as he wiped tear after tear off his cheeks. That was the first time I’d seen Choi Seunghyun shed tears, and I never found out the real reason behind them. I didn’t question. I just patted his head gently like a mother soothing her crying child; the only way I knew to let him know I'd always be there..._

__  
  
Though I wasn't for long.

 

:::

 

"Haerin, coke for you?" Seunghyun offered holding up a can in my direction.

  
"Yes, please."

  
I took the drink out of his hands, consciously avoiding accidentally touching his fingers in the process. 

  
“Oh, Top! Always the considerate gentleman!" The slightly tipsy Jiyong teased.

  
_Top. Considerate gentleman. Always..._

  
For some reason I felt like I was at some high school reunion with people I couldn’t fully recognise, reminiscing about incidents I had long forgotten but still smiling and going along with the setting put up by these strangers.

  
"Hyung! Don't get all drunk in front of Haerin noona! It's embarrassing!" Daesung warned.

  
"It's ok, Daesung. I’ve got a feeling this happens quite often, so I gotta get used to it."

  
"Noona, how did you know?" the boy asked in amusement"

  
Seungri took a gulp of his beer and waved the glass in the air as he giggled, "She's got telepathy with Top Hyung, remember?"

  
I stiffened in my seat. There was a split second of silence, but before the atmosphere could get awkward, Seunghyun let out a chuckle.

  
"That's right, guys. The lady knows my mind."

  
I pressed my lips into a small smile and looked away.

  
  
Of course, if there was anyone in this world who could read Choi Seunghyun’s mind, it would have been me. Except I let seven vital years slip by without a call, and now I wasn’t confident enough to say this boy with steely eyes was the same person in all of my memories. It was my fault I wasn't there when things took a turn. I was somewhere far away, selfishly praying that my best friend never changed, and that he'd still need me everyday.

 

But you don't get to have your cake and eat it too. 

_:::_

 

_"Rin, why aren't you out with the girls?" Seunghyun queried as we made our way home together after school._

_  
"Because I'd much rather be here with you.” I beamed._

_  
"Really? But why? I'm not as fun." Seunghyun asked again, eyes revealing all of his insecurities._

_  
I slapped him lightly on the arm, “Of course you are, silly! You're my best friend!"_

 

_Why? Why did I choose Seunghyun over the girls? Why do I always? I wasn't sure. All I knew was that I'd choose Seunghyun over the entire world, without doubt._

_  
All Seunghyun did was smile back at me, and that discussion ended there. He probably didn't think I had noticed how his steps got heavier and heavier the rest of the journey home._

 


End file.
